• Why Americans Should Stay Home

    From Daryl Stout@454:1/33 to All on Sat Jul 25 00:06:05 2020
    WHY AMERICANS SHOULD NEVER BE LET OUT OF THE COUNTRY

    Actual comments from US travel agents......

    I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get
    messed up by being near the window.
    -------------
    A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going
    overall the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
    California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
    -------------------
    I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
    explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown
    is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid
    one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in
    Africa. "Her response ... click.
    -----------------
    A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
    wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
    ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando
    is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked
    on the map and Florida is a very thin state."
    ------------------
    I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from
    Canada?" I said, "No." He said, "But they look so close on the map." -------------------
    Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I
    pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay-over in Dallas.
    When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas
    was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save
    time."
    ----------------------
    A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her
    flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I
    tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she
    could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the
    plane went very fast, and she bought that!
    --------------------
    A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on
    your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do
    you ask?" She replied,"Well, when I checked in with the airline, they
    put a tag on my luggagethat said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into
    it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code
    for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination
    tag on her luggage.
    ---------------------
    I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which
    plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied,
    "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes
    have numbers on them."
    ------------------
    A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those
    computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter
    plane. She said,"Yeah, whatever."
    -------------------
    A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed
    inorder to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I
    reminded him he needed a visa."Oh no I don't, I've been to China many
    times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure
    enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look,
    I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my
    American Express."
    -----------------------
    A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the
    agent said,: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what
    flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the
    agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport
    code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."
    The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is.
    Check your map!"The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and
    finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
    "That's it! I knew it was a big animal"
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (454:1/33)
  • From Daryl Stout@454:1/33 to All on Wed Oct 28 00:06:17 2020
    WHY AMERICANS SHOULD NEVER BE LET OUT OF THE COUNTRY

    Actual comments from US travel agents......

    I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get
    messed up by being near the window.
    -------------
    A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going
    overall the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
    California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
    -------------------
    I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
    explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown
    is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid
    one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in
    Africa. "Her response ... click.
    -----------------
    A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
    wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
    ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando
    is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked
    on the map and Florida is a very thin state."
    ------------------
    I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from
    Canada?" I said, "No." He said, "But they look so close on the map." -------------------
    Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I
    pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay-over in Dallas.
    When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas
    was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save
    time."
    ----------------------
    A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her
    flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I
    tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she
    could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the
    plane went very fast, and she bought that!
    --------------------
    A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on
    your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do
    you ask?" She replied,"Well, when I checked in with the airline, they
    put a tag on my luggagethat said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into
    it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code
    for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination
    tag on her luggage.
    ---------------------
    I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which
    plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied,
    "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes
    have numbers on them."
    ------------------
    A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those
    computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter
    plane. She said,"Yeah, whatever."
    -------------------
    A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed
    inorder to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I
    reminded him he needed a visa."Oh no I don't, I've been to China many
    times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure
    enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look,
    I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my
    American Express."
    -----------------------
    A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the
    agent said,: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what
    flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the
    agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport
    code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."
    The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is.
    Check your map!"The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and
    finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
    "That's it! I knew it was a big animal"
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (454:1/33)