• Nothing To Sneeze At

    From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Wed Jul 29 00:05:53 2020
    They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-three students filing into the already crowded auditorium.

    With rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost
    as grown up as they felt.

    Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and moms freely brushed away tears.

    This class would not pray during the commencements ----- not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.

    The principal and several students were careful to stay within the
    guidelines allowed by the ruling.

    They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned
    divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.

    The speeches were nice, but they were routine... ....until the final speech received a standing ovation.

    A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone.

    He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened.

    All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED!!!!

    The student on stage simply looked at the audience and said,
    "GOD BLESS YOU, each and every one of you!"

    And he walked off stage...

    The audience exploded into applause.

    The graduating class had found a unique way to invoke God's blessing
    on their future, with or without the court's approval!

    Isn't this a wonderful story? Pass it on to all your friends...and GOD
    BLESS YOU!!!!

    In God We Trust, United We Stand.
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Tue Mar 30 00:05:19 2021
    They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-three students filing into the already crowded auditorium.

    With rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost
    as grown up as they felt.

    Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and moms freely brushed away tears.

    This class would not pray during the commencements ----- not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.

    The principal and several students were careful to stay within the
    guidelines allowed by the ruling.

    They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned
    divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.

    The speeches were nice, but they were routine... ....until the final speech received a standing ovation.

    A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone.

    He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened.

    All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED!!!!

    The student on stage simply looked at the audience and said,
    "GOD BLESS YOU, each and every one of you!"

    And he walked off stage...

    The audience exploded into applause.

    The graduating class had found a unique way to invoke God's blessing
    on their future, with or without the court's approval!

    Isn't this a wonderful story? Pass it on to all your friends...and GOD
    BLESS YOU!!!!

    In God We Trust, United We Stand.
    --- SBBSecho 3.13-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Tue Mar 30 12:10:02 2021
    They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-three students filing into the already crowded auditorium.

    With rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked
    almost
    as grown up as they felt.

    Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and moms freely brushed away
    tears.

    This class would not pray during the commencements ----- not by choice,
    but
    because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.

    The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling.

    They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.

    The speeches were nice, but they were routine... ....until the final
    speech
    received a standing ovation.

    A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone.

    He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened.

    All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED!!!!

    The student on stage simply looked at the audience and said,
    "GOD BLESS YOU, each and every one of you!"

    And he walked off stage...

    The audience exploded into applause.

    The graduating class had found a unique way to invoke God's blessing
    on their future, with or without the court's approval!

    Isn't this a wonderful story? Pass it on to all your friends...and GOD
    BLESS YOU!!!!

    May God bless you, too, today & always. .

    Not to worry, the anti-prayer-in-school laws will always fail so long as
    there are exams.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Wed Mar 31 14:12:00 2021
    George,

    May God bless you, too, today & always. .

    Not to worry, the anti-prayer-in-school laws will always fail so long
    as there are exams.

    A fellow classmate's philosophy years ago was "Well, here comes another
    F". <G>

    Or, how about this one:

    Supervisor: "There will be a random drug test today."

    Employee: "Crap!! I didn't study for it."

    I guess "Piss on that one" would be a valid response. :P

    Daryl

    ... How long should we practice sex before it's safe??
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
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  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Thu Apr 1 08:51:47 2021
    Not to worry, the anti-prayer-in-school laws will always fail so long as there are exams.

    A fellow classmate's philosophy years ago was "Well, here comes another F". <G>

    For me, it was A after A until I got a teacher who didn't like me, then I got
    a B, & my dad grounded me for 4 months. . . (was going to be for the year,
    but my mom intervened & granted amnesty)

    Or, how about this one:

    Supervisor: "There will be a random drug test today."

    Employee: "Crap!! I didn't study for it."

    I guess "Piss on that one" would be a valid response. :P

    That's "trickle down economics" in a nutshell:

    You ask the 1% to increase wages by 5% so we can live slightly better, & they reply, "Piss on yas!"

    ... How long should we practice sex before it's safe??

    Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so I see that as proof positive
    I should just keep going. . . you want to help me convince my wife of this logic?

    Or my girlfriend (J/King--I can't afford a wife, kids, AND a girlfriend!)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Thu Apr 1 14:46:00 2021
    George,

    For me, it was A after A until I got a teacher who didn't like me, then
    I got a B, & my dad grounded me for 4 months. . . (was going to be for
    the year, but my mom intervened & granted amnesty)

    Or the meme where the kid is grounded, sitting in the chair, facing the corner wall, and he growls "I'm taking this one to Grandma". <G>

    I guess "Piss on that one" would be a valid response. :P

    That's "trickle down economics" in a nutshell:

    That's it.

    You ask the 1% to increase wages by 5% so we can live slightly better,
    & they reply, "Piss on yas!"

    They lament they can't survive on $250,000+ a year...they don't have a
    clue.

    ... How long should we practice sex before it's safe??

    Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so I see that as proof positive I should just keep going. . . you want to help me convince my wife of this logic?

    I think we should put this thread to bed. <G>

    Or my girlfriend (J/King--I can't afford a wife, kids, AND a
    girlfriend!)

    Or like the little kid noting the king lived with several porcupines
    (he couldn't think of the word concubines) <G>.

    Daryl

    ... The scales in the doctors offices offend me. Remove them!
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Fri Apr 2 07:21:21 2021
    You ask the 1% to increase wages by 5% so we can live slightly
    better,
    & they reply, "Piss on yas!"

    They lament they can't survive on $250,000+ a year...they don't have a clue.

    They don't mean in an absolute sense (lkiuve or die) but relaticve to heir deired standard of living. I say if you didn't put ourself so high to start with, you'd hsave had less distance to fall!

    I also point out how, Constitutionally, they are equal to e, so either I
    should be able to live like they were, or they should be able/willing to live like myself (below poverty line by a good shot)

    Of course, not enough resources for both to live high on thehog, so I'd
    prefer we both evened out somewhere near "Enough" (key word that nobody pays attention to any more.)

    Like JC said: If you have a roof over your head, a place to lay your head, &
    a bowl of food, you have enough. [seeking] anything more than that is from
    the evil one. (i.e. Love of money)

    Naturally, I seek to have a bit more comfort than literal enough, but I don't NEEED it & I get that. I'd rather help someone worse off be more comfortable first before I go up another level.

    If pastors went back to that attitude (as they had in the Dirty Thirties,
    when they earned their taxation-free status)

    If politicians grew it, to serve, as is the intent of our system. . .

    I don't want a blinking ruler in the capital -- I want a servant-leader!

    I determined that if I were ever a pastor or politician, that my income
    should be $1/year less thgan the poorest member of the group I'm leader for.

    If I want more, then I must increase the average income, including the porest person's.

    I deem this proper for all so-called leaders.

    Leadership always was about servant status. It comes from war terminology;
    the leader led the way("took point") into dangerous territory; after the war was done, they were acknowledged as leaders who put others ahead of
    themselves, and asked to lead the population collectively.

    ... How long should we practice sex before it's safe??

    Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so I see that as proof positive I should just keep going. . . you want to help me convince
    my
    wife of this logic?

    I think we should put this thread to bed. <G>

    You were ill -- I hope you did go to bed!

    Or my girlfriend (J/King--I can't afford a wife, kids, AND a girlfriend!)

    Or like the little kid noting the king lived with several porcupines
    (he couldn't think of the word concubines) <G>.

    I love those lists of little kid answers to simple questions that circulate occasionally. . .

    Fdound this one I think y ou'll enjoy:

    The Children were asked questions about the Old and
    New Testaments. The following statements about the Bible
    were written by the children. They have not been corrected
    thus ( the incorrect spelling is their own ). I hope you enjoy
    what the children wrote.....

    1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of
    creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

    2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
    Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark which
    the animals come on to in pears.

    3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by
    night.

    4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they
    had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

    5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by
    a Jezebel like Delilah.

    6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the
    Apostles.

    7. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made
    unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

    8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
    Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten
    amendments.

    9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat
    the apple.

    10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit
    adultery. [I suspect the pastor called that kid's dad in for a talk]

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Fri Apr 2 18:00:00 2021
    George,

    They don't mean in an absolute sense (lkiuve or die) but relaticve to
    heir deired standard of living. I say if you didn't put ourself so
    high to start with, you'd hsave had less distance to fall!

    As the tagline from the late Nancy Backus (I miss her) noted:

    "We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then, it gets worse". <G>

    Everyone came into this world as naked and broke as I did, and is going
    out the same day. I've yet to see a girl come out in a white satin dress,
    and a box come out in a nice tuxedo. Or as the doctor told the mother in
    labor "it's going to hurt a lot more coming out, than it did going in". <G>

    The one I liked was where the husband brought his wife, in labor, to the local ER...and as they were taking her to Labor and Delivery, the OB-GYN
    said he wanted to try a new deal, where they transferred all the pain from
    the mother to the father. Mom was excited about that, and Dad had a high
    pain tolerance...so, they agreed.

    The doctor started it slow, and basically got it to the max. Neither Mom
    or Dad had any pain, and she delivered a healthy baby.

    When they got home, the milkman was found dead on the porch. <G>

    Like JC said: If you have a roof over your head, a place to lay your
    head, & a bowl of food, you have enough. [seeking] anything more than that is from the evil one. (i.e. Love of money)

    That's all I want...but having finances to pay the basic bills helps, too.

    Naturally, I seek to have a bit more comfort than literal enough, but I don't NEEED it & I get that. I'd rather help someone worse off be more comfortable first before I go up another level.

    If I could know the hearts and motives of these homeless folks, I'd be
    more inclined to help them. But, with limited finances myself, I can't.
    Plus, you don't know if they've got a weapon to kill you and steal all
    you have.

    I don't want a blinking ruler in the capital -- I want a
    servant-leader!

    They are to serve us...not the other way around.

    Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so I see that as proof positive I should just keep going. . . you want to help me convince
    my
    wife of this logic?

    I think we should put this thread to bed. <G>

    You were ill -- I hope you did go to bed!

    I did after I got home from the first COVID-19 shot...but eating a big
    lunch beforehand likely made me sleepy.

    I love those lists of little kid answers to simple questions that circulate occasionally. . .

    The wisdom of children. :)

    The Children were asked questions about the Old and
    New Testaments. The following statements about the Bible
    were written by the children. They have not been corrected
    thus ( the incorrect spelling is their own ). I hope you enjoy
    what the children wrote.....

    1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of
    creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

    Works for me. <G>

    2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
    Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark which
    the animals come on to in pears.

    Really. Or as Bill Cosby's "Noah And The Ark" routine noted,
    "He had to keep telling the rabbits...ONLY TWO!!". <G> I did
    that routine for my final exam in 10th grade drama class...got
    a perfect score. :)

    3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by
    night.

    Talk about going out in a blaze of glory...or as another country
    song noted "I'm going to Heaven in a flash of fire...with or without
    you". <G>

    4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they
    had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

    Especially when you had to take a shovel everywhere. <G>

    5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by
    a Jezebel like Delilah.

    It was a hair raising (removing) experience.

    6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the
    Apostles.

    Or, he instead of slaying them with the jawbone of an ass,
    he killed them by "jabbing them in the ass". <G>

    7. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made
    unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

    Well, they must've thought the same about Manna, which
    translated as "What Is It??".

    8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.

    They let the whipped cream get too watered down.

    Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten
    amendments.

    No wonder most of them died. <G>

    9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat
    the apple.

    I thought it was when they first saw each other naked...and he told
    her "Stand back, honey. I don't know how big this is going to get". <G>

    10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit
    adultery. [I suspect the pastor called that kid's dad in for a talk]

    Do infants enjoy infancy, as much as adults enjoy adultery?? :P

    Daryl

    ... I have disposable income. I dispose of it awfully fast.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
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  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Sun Apr 4 08:19:11 2021
    George,

    They don't mean in an absolute sense (lkiuve or die) but relaticve to heir deired standard of living. I say if you didn't put ourself so high to start with, you'd hsave had less distance to fall!

    As the tagline from the late Nancy Backus (I miss her) noted:

    "We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then, it gets worse". <G>

    Everyone came into this world as naked and broke as I did, and is going out the same day. I've yet to see a girl come out in a white satin dress, and a box come out in a nice tuxedo. Or as the doctor told the mother in labor "it's going to hurt a lot more coming out, than it did going in".


    I was considering being 'Born Again' but my mom said no.

    The one I liked was where the husband brought his wife, in labor, to the local ER...and as they were taking her to Labor and Delivery, the OB-GYN said he wanted to try a new deal, where they transferred all the pain from the mother to the father. Mom was excited about that, and Dad had a high pain tolerance...so, they agreed.

    The doctor started it slow, and basically got it to the max. Neither Mom or Dad had any pain, and she delivered a healthy baby.

    When they got home, the milkman was found dead on the porch. <G>

    Classic! How long's it been since we had milkmen?

    Like JC said: If you have a roof over your head, a place to lay your head, & a bowl of food, you have enough. [seeking] anything more
    than
    that is from the evil one. (i.e. Love of money)

    That's all I want...but having finances to pay the basic bills helps,
    too.

    I'd say that falls under "enough"; but you got to trust you'll have that "enough," too, right?

    Naturally, I seek to have a bit more comfort than literal enough, but
    I
    don't NEEED it & I get that. I'd rather help someone worse off be
    more
    comfortable first before I go up another level.

    If I could know the hearts and motives of these homeless folks, I'd be more inclined to help them. But, with limited finances myself, I can't. Plus, you don't know if they've got a weapon to kill you and steal all
    you have.

    My belief is we are to judge favorably and that we are commanded to help, not to judge.

    If I can help, I do. If I can't I say so (I'll stop and talk, even if I'm broke, because we all need human interaction & acknowledgement of our shared humanity.

    I'm a Jew, so t he principle is different; in Hebrew the word is "justice"
    not "charity"; we help to even things more fairly, not just because it feels good.


    I don't want a blinking ruler in the capital -- I want a servant-leader!

    They are to serve us...not the other way around.

    Exactly my point.

    I think we should put this thread to bed. <G>

    You were ill -- I hope you did go to bed!

    I did after I got home from the first COVID-19 shot...but eating a big lunch beforehand likely made me sleepy.

    Rst is always healthy, I say, especially if you're feeing the need.

    Whoever decided that resting before you're tired is lazy, not efficient?

    2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
    Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark which
    the animals come on to in pears.

    Really. Or as Bill Cosby's "Noah And The Ark" routine noted,
    "He had to keep telling the rabbits...ONLY TWO!!". <G> I did
    that routine for my final exam in 10th grade drama class...got
    a perfect score. :)

    I love that routine, beginning with, "whoosha, whoosha"(saw), God's greeting,
    & Noah saying, "Yes, Lord? I've been good!"

    4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they
    had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

    Especially when you had to take a shovel everywhere. <G>

    What shovel? Huh?

    5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by
    a Jezebel like Delilah.

    It was a hair raising (removing) experience.

    It's a good song, though; catchy.

    7. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made
    unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

    Well, they must've thought the same about Manna, which
    translated as "What Is It??".

    Yup, though it's actually just called "man" in Hebrew.

    9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat
    the apple.

    I thought it was when they first saw each other naked...and he told
    her "Stand back, honey. I don't know how big this is going to get". <G>

    Eve was the first carpenter; she made Adam's banana stand.

    10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit
    adultery. [I suspect the pastor called that kid's dad in for a talk]

    Do infants enjoy infancy, as much as adults enjoy adultery?? :P

    Rumour has it. . .

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Sun Apr 4 13:14:00 2021
    George,

    I was considering being 'Born Again' but my mom said no.

    There is only one good conntation of that. :)

    When they got home, the milkman was found dead on the porch. <G>

    Classic! How long's it been since we had milkmen?

    It shows how old we are...part of the decrepit old farts society. <G>

    I'd say that falls under "enough"; but you got to trust you'll have
    that "enough," too, right?

    True...but when you're being hassled by the collectors, and you haven't over-splurged, as it were...it's very stressful. Even if you try to set up
    a payment plan, they want it all. Yet, they won't put themselves in your
    shoes.

    My belief is we are to judge favorably and that we are commanded to
    help, not to judge.

    The problem is, I'm not rolling in dough. Besides, if I needed help,
    there's no guarantee they'd return the favor. Most of them spend the
    money on drugs or alcohol anyway.

    If I can help, I do. If I can't I say so (I'll stop and talk, even if
    I'm broke, because we all need human interaction & acknowledgement of
    our shared humanity.

    I've heard far too many stories of these "homeless folks" (read that "panhandlers") who say "I make far more money doing this than a regular
    job, and I don't have to pay any taxes".

    I'm a Jew, so t he principle is different; in Hebrew the word is
    "justice" not "charity"; we help to even things more fairly, not just because it feels good.

    For those I know personally, if I can help them, as I know their character.

    Rst is always healthy, I say, especially if you're feeing the need.

    I've learned if I tried to work on the computer when I'm tired, I'm going
    to muck things up. Case in point...I was tired, thought I was in a temporary directory, and answered Y to DEL *.* -- over 500 ascii, ansi, and RIP
    bulletin screens were gone forever.

    Really. Or as Bill Cosby's "Noah And The Ark" routine noted,
    "He had to keep telling the rabbits...ONLY TWO!!". <G> I did
    that routine for my final exam in 10th grade drama class...got
    a perfect score. :)

    I love that routine, beginning with, "whoosha, whoosha"(saw), God's greeting, & Noah saying, "Yes, Lord? I've been good!"

    "How Long Can You Tread Water??!!" <G>

    Especially when you had to take a shovel everywhere. <G>

    What shovel? Huh?

    That's what was instructed...dig a hole, drop your excrement in there,
    then cover it back up. This was long before toilets were invented.

    It's a good song, though; catchy.

    There was another song entitled Jezebel...I forget who sang it.

    I thought it was when they first saw each other naked...and he told
    her "Stand back, honey. I don't know how big this is going to get". <G>

    Eve was the first carpenter; she made Adam's banana stand.

    ROFLMBO!! I needed that one. <G>

    Do infants enjoy infancy, as much as adults enjoy adultery?? :P

    Rumour has it. . .

    The New Gaither Vocal Band had a song, which is so true. "If it can
    be twisted, you can be sure that it will. 'Cause there ain't nothin' sacred...at The Rumor Mill".

    I liked the quip that "In the old days, it was considered a miracle
    for an ass to speak (Balaam's donkey). Now, it'd be a miracle if one
    kept his mouth shut". And on that note, it's time to go eat lunch...
    but at least I don't go for the saying "you are what you eat" -- what
    if your preferred food is rump roast?? <G>

    Daryl

    ... I just bought a cured ham...wonder what it had...
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  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Mon Apr 5 13:28:02 2021
    George,

    I was considering being 'Born Again' but my mom said no.

    There is only one good conntation of that. :)

    When they got home, the milkman was found dead on the porch. <G>

    Classic! How long's it been since we had milkmen?

    It shows how old we are...part of the decrepit old farts society. <G>

    I ofte say, "I'm getting old, but it beats the alternative!"; invariably one(usually a woman" will pipe up with, "I'd rather be young."

    I say "That's not the alternative!" & often have to help them understand the point being made.

    I celebrate everything. 98% of those with burt aneurysms are dead. I'm guessing 98% of those suirvivers only lived because someone was there & saw them fall, to call 911 immediately.

    I was alone, yet here Oi am, part paralyxzed, but all alive & breathing.

    If Ium feeling pain, I GIVE THANK 7 praise that my body works & ask for help understanding what the pain is trying to communicate. (usually it's a kidney stone (I get 20+ a year); but if it's achy legs from walking what bit I do
    (in the home); I give thanks tht I'm not confined to a wheelchair (I use one
    to go out, & that's already too much for this formerly active walker (20-80 miles/day through my youth; most at 6MPH.

    I'd say that falls under "enough"; but you got to trust you'll have that "enough," too, right?

    True...but when you're being hassled by the collectors, and you haven't over-splurged, as it were...it's very stressful. Even if you try to set up
    a payment plan, they want it all. Yet, they won't put themselves in your shoes.

    It's frustrating, I know - been there. . . I just power through it, with trust(faith) & await the expected positive resolution (do my part if it's required, of course)

    My belief is we are to judge favorably and that we are commanded to help, not to judge.

    The problem is, I'm not rolling in dough. Besides, if I needed help, there's no guarantee they'd return the favor. Most of them spend the
    money on drugs or alcohol anyway.

    Remember, Jesus(&/or Paul) taught to give without expectation of return?

    If they can't repay, that's the highest order of giving.

    That's why anonymous giving is best (they can't thank the giver, so their
    heart thanks God)

    If you can't, you can't. I've been extremely low income for manuy years now, but Iu recall what one pastor taugfht me: it's not about the 10% giving, it's aboput organizedly setting aside a portion of all we receive to help others; even if you start with 5%. I started with that & designated it as God's
    money, which kept me honest; if I spent it on myself, that'd be theft from
    God (no thank you!)

    I might only have 25c to give, or a sandwich (if you're concerned about them spending the money unwisely, give them food instead; the real needy
    appreciate that!)

    If you come acrosds those wh curse you for that, demanding money don't judge all by the bad examples.

    Recall Jesus' teaching: each one you meet is him or an angel. Think like
    that & it's so much easier & makes great sense.

    Praying for someone doesn't fill their gnawing hunger.

    If I only gave out $50 in a year, due to my own poverty, & $45 of it went to drugs & booze, I'd do it again, just to ensure that $5 went to someone who
    was hungry/needy.

    I've been so needy, I've had to beg, so I have a unique perspective on it.

    Your mileage varies & so be it -- God made both of us & put us here to work!

    My life's nuission is to, each daym, makle the world a bit better than it was wqhewn I woke up. Some days that extends to smiling to strangers & talking
    to homeless people. Other days it means I stay home with my pain, so my sour/grimacing face won't depress others.

    If I can help, I do. If I can't I say so (I'll stop and talk, even if I'm broke, because we all need human interaction & acknowledgement of our shared humanity.

    I've heard far too many stories of these "homeless folks" (read that "panhandlers") who say "I make far more money doing this than a regular
    job, and I don't have to pay any taxes".

    I've heard these, too, but I refuser to accept rumours as being facts. Otherwise I'm participating as a talebearer (forbidden in Proverbs & Torah)

    If they talk rumours & I lisdte only so far as to provide the human companionship,. because they don't know any other way to converse, then I'm
    not a rumour-hearer, I'm just a friendly ear.

    I'm a Jew, so t he principle is different; in Hebrew the word is "justice" not "charity"; we help to even things more fairly, not just because it feels good.

    For those I know personally, if I can help them, as I know their character.

    I try to get to know them all. Stopping, talking, offering info on the
    nearest free meals & food banks, or just sharing happy thoughts & positive words. If it comes up, I share my testimony of why I do this & why I believe/follow God. When I can, I give what I can. A while back, when
    single, I was blesased with more than I "needed" so I was using a flat 5% of
    my income to buy $5 McDonalds gift cards to hand out that month to those actually homeless.

    Rest is always healthy, I say, especially if you're feeing the need.

    I've learned if I tried to work on the computer when I'm tired, I'm
    going
    to muck things up. Case in point...I was tired, thought I was in a
    temporary
    directory, and answered Y to DEL *.* -- over 500 ascii, ansi, and RIP bulletin screens were gone forever.

    I hate when that happens! You don't have Norton/etc. to undelete?

    I was in m first computer course, in 1991 & everything for the year to date
    was on a 1.44Mb floppy.

    I formatted it, thinking it was the other floppy (my own personal junk)

    Pulled it out, saw the label & amost cried (it had current projects, due
    soon, on it)

    Thankdfully I was an exploring type (much against the teachers' instructions
    & admonitions) & recalled seering a file called UNFORMAT.EXE in the NORTON directory.

    I CDed over to it & typed UNFORMAT /? to get the command line parameters.

    Then ran it on my floppy (completely empty/dead) & watched the display as it recovered file after file (YIPPEE!)

    When done I DIR'ED the A: & saw my files, albeit all in the root folder, no longer in individual.sorted directories, but I had my data! (a couple were mangled, containing concatenated data); I fixed most in WP5.1

    Such a joy! This was when I knew NOTHING of DOS, soon after I was the DOS Master!! (DOS IST GUT!! was my slogan)

    In college, I had un in a beginners' class, setting it up so when someone ran Wordperfect, Lotus ran instead & vice-versa. Even if they CD to the right directory first & ran "WP.EXE" or "LOTUS.EXE" the one they didn't want
    loaded!

    Soon enough the prof came up to me & begged me to fix it, & promised to
    trouble for me if I showed him how I did it (he was stymied)

    I had to pull out my floppy to show him the .BAT files' code that I had compiled into *.COM files (COM runs before EXE in the same folder) with IF statements that checked current folder & which of my com files was present & which was in the opposite folder. He actually gave me bonusd marks! :D


    Really. Or as Bill Cosby's "Noah And The Ark" routine noted,
    "He had to keep telling the rabbits...ONLY TWO!!". <G> I did
    that routine for my final exam in 10th grade drama class...got
    a perfect score. :)

    I love that routine, beginning with, "whoosha, whoosha"(saw), God's greeting, & Noah saying, "Yes, Lord? I've been good!"

    "How Long Can You Tread Water??!!" <G>

    Point aptly made!

    Especially when you had to take a shovel everywhere. <G>

    What shovel? Huh?

    That's what was instructed...dig a hole, drop your excrement in there, then cover it back up. This was long before toilets were invented.

    Yup. . I used to ask people, "Does a Pope **** in the woods?" or "Is the bear Polish?"; Yup, I'm known as the weird guy. & I wear that distinction with pride.

    It's a good song, though; catchy.

    There was another song entitled Jezebel...I forget who sang it.

    There are about 5-10 songs by that title!

    The only band name of them I recognize is 10,000 Maniacs.

    I thought it was when they first saw each other naked...and he told
    her "Stand back, honey. I don't know how big this is going to get". <G>

    Eve was the first carpenter; she made Adam's banana stand.

    ROFLMBO!! I needed that one. <G>

    I still don't get why men blame women for al the ills of life (& original
    sin)

    As far as knowing God & His laws went, she was in Kindergarten; Adam,
    however, was in college!

    She made a mistake in judgement; Adam knowingly went against God's expressly stated Will. Forgiveness was available, but I consider the greatest sin to have been Adam's. So I don't have a built-in misogyny (can't, I *LOVE*
    women!)

    Do infants enjoy infancy, as much as adults enjoy adultery?? :P

    Rumour has it. . .

    The New Gaither Vocal Band had a song, which is so true. "If it can
    be twisted, you can be sure that it will. 'Cause there ain't nothin' sacred...at The Rumor Mill".

    I liked the quip that "In the old days, it was considered a miracle
    for an ass to speak (Balaam's donkey). Now, it'd be a miracle if one
    kept his mouth shut". And on that note, it's time to go eat lunch...
    but at least I don't go for the saying "you are what you eat" -- what
    if your preferred food is rump roast?? <G>

    Esssentially, as far as your body's nutrition processing considers things,
    you ingested protein & fat, not a butt. Of couse the meaning of the original phrase is that if yuou eat junk, your body will become junky(GIGO) & if you
    eat healthy, you'll be healthy.

    I try for balance. . . (beer in one hand & whiskey in the other)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Mon Apr 5 19:10:00 2021
    George,

    I ofte say, "I'm getting old, but it beats the alternative!";
    invariably one(usually a woman" will pipe up with, "I'd rather be
    young."

    My late father said for years that he was 19...and I believed him.
    When I caught up and passed him, "I smelled a rat". Or as my late wife
    noted "There's something rotten in Denmark...and it isn't the codfish".

    So, it got to be "So, you're 19, and your son is 42?? There must be
    something in the water". <G>

    I say "That's not the alternative!" & often have to help them
    understand the point being made.

    Before Arkansas lowered the mask mandate, and allowed individuals 16
    and older to get their COVID-19 shots...one had to be at least 65. I
    just turned 61 late last month...and I was still "too young" to get a
    shot at the time. The president and his wife of the Arkansas State
    Square Dance Federation, are just a couple of years older than me, and
    he noted "We love being 63 and young". <G>

    I celebrate everything. 98% of those with burt aneurysms are dead.
    I'm guessing 98% of those suirvivers only lived because someone was
    there & saw them fall, to call 911 immediately.

    Some folks on my BBS had a fit when I announced they had a birthday.
    Every day is a gift....and most of us older folks realize that we have
    more days behind us, than ahead of us.

    it's a kidney stone (I get 20+ a year); but if it's achy legs from
    walking what bit I do (in the home); I give thanks tht I'm not confined
    to a wheelchair (I use one to go out, & that's already too much for
    this formerly active walker (20-80 miles/day through my youth; most at 6MPH.

    Been there, done that, got the wardrobe, on the kidney stones. But, since I've stopped drinking soda, and gone to just flavored water, or diet green
    tea citrus, I haven't had an attack in a good while. The pain of a kidney
    stone is the closest a man can get to childbirth. One woman told me that
    "If women can pass a baby, you men can pass a stone"...to which I told her "Unlike the female cervix, the male penis can not dialate".

    I'd say that falls under "enough"; but you got to trust you'll have that "enough," too, right?

    It's frustrating, I know - been there. . . I just power through it,
    with trust(faith) & await the expected positive resolution (do my part
    if it's required, of course)

    I paid several bills today, and marked the checkbook, so all the bills for April are basically "paid".

    My belief is we are to judge favorably and that we are commanded to help, not to judge.

    Remember, Jesus(&/or Paul) taught to give without expectation of
    return?

    I normally do that, telling folks not to worry about it...especially
    for those who I know. I've heard reports of these panhandlers accosting
    drivers at intersections.

    I might only have 25c to give, or a sandwich (if you're concerned about them spending the money unwisely, give them food instead; the real
    needy appreciate that!)

    I've heard of families literally arguing over who is paying for lunch.
    My ex-fiancee' wanted me to always take her to the most expensive food
    place, always pick up the tab, forsake all my hobbies, and spend every
    waking moment with her. She was to do all the taking, and I was to do
    all the giving...that type of a relationship does NOT work. My late wife
    at least asked me who was paying for the meal. I normally would, but if
    I needed us to "go dutch", or for her to pay for it, she never complained.

    I went out to 2 area restaurants just before Christmas, and gave a $100
    tip to an employee at each place, who always took good care of me. I still
    like to tip employees who do me right, but I can't afford to eat out every single day.

    I've heard these, too, but I refuser to accept rumours as being facts. Otherwise I'm participating as a talebearer (forbidden in Proverbs & Torah).

    I've seen it in action as well...that just turned me off.

    I hate when that happens! You don't have Norton/etc. to undelete?

    I use the IObit software suite, and one of those has an undelete deal,
    but normally that works with Windows files, and not at a DOS prompt.

    Then ran it on my floppy (completely empty/dead) & watched the display
    as it recovered file after file (YIPPEE!).

    I had to restore from a backup today, as I tried an update with the
    BBS software, but the control panel couldn't find a needed file...so,
    it wouldn't run, so the BBS was down. I normally do a backup once a
    week.

    "How Long Can You Tread Water??!!" <G>

    Point aptly made!

    I had the students (and the teacher) roaring in laughter. Also, when
    I did the "Phone Call From God" by Jerry Jordan, it was hard trying to
    stay in character, as one gets laughing as well...and everyone else is
    laughing as well.

    Yup. . I used to ask people, "Does a Pope **** in the woods?" or "Is
    the bear Polish?"; Yup, I'm known as the weird guy. & I wear that distinction with pride.

    I saw a tagline that noted "Seen On A Baby Stroller: Poo-Poo Happens". <G>

    There is also a commercial on the Swiffer Pet Hair Cleaner. Some pets
    shed like the dickens (talk about their own fur balls)...while others
    don't. But, the kicker for the commercial was "Shed Happens". <BG>

    Eve was the first carpenter; she made Adam's banana stand.

    ROFLMBO!! I needed that one. <G>

    I still don't get why men blame women for al the ills of life (&
    original sin)

    Eve was deceived, so I have to cut her some slack. But, Adam apparently
    gave in without a fight...but did so as he didn't want to lose Eve.

    She made a mistake in judgement; Adam knowingly went against God's expressly stated Will. Forgiveness was available, but I consider the greatest sin to have been Adam's. So I don't have a built-in misogyny (can't, I *LOVE* women!)

    I grew up with a brother. It never occurred to me that it took women
    forever and day to get ready. My late wife had one cardinal rule:

    LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT DOWN.

    When I forgot, she'd spit like a mad cat. Nothing more needed to be
    said...I knew I was guilty. :P

    I try for balance. . . (beer in one hand & whiskey in the other)

    Balanced Diet...in the belly, and in the buttocks. <G>

    Daryl

    ... "Never have children, only grandchildren." -Gore Vidal
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.13-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Tue Apr 6 10:23:46 2021
    George,

    I ofte say, "I'm getting old, but it beats the alternative!"; invariably one(usually a woman" will pipe up with, "I'd rather be young."

    My late father said for years that he was 19...and I believed him.
    When I caught up and passed him, "I smelled a rat". Or as my late wife
    noted "There's something rotten in Denmark...and it isn't the codfish".

    Denmark, per an old Danish friend, serves 3/4 raw 'smoked' fish as a local 'delicacy' (he triedonce, fought vomiting & vowed never again until he got
    home for the real thing (smoked BC salmon)

    Before Arkansas lowered the mask mandate, and allowed individuals 16
    and older to get their COVID-19 shots...one had to be at least 65. I
    just turned 61 late last month...and I was still "too young" to get a
    shot at the time. The president and his wife of the Arkansas State
    Square Dance Federation, are just a couple of years older than me, and
    he noted "We love being 63 and young". <G>

    Our phase 2 was 70+ &/or those with chronic health conditions; I qualify, but am still waiting, as is allowed currently. They'll even do a housecall for
    me!

    Some folks on my BBS had a fit when I announced they had a birthday.
    Every day is a gift....and most of us older folks realize that we have
    more days behind us, than ahead of us.

    I celebrate any annual reminder that I've been alive another year!

    For the women who feel obliged todo the stereotype I tell them: men have
    ages; women just have birthdays.

    it's a kidney stone (I get 20+ a year); but if it's achy legs from walking what bit I do (in the home); I give thanks tht I'm not
    confined
    to a wheelchair (I use one to go out, & that's already too much for this formerly active walker (20-80 miles/day through my youth; most
    at
    6MPH.

    Been there, done that, got the wardrobe, on the kidney stones. But,
    since
    I've stopped drinking soda, and gone to just flavored water, or diet green tea citrus, I haven't had an attack in a good while. The pain of a kidney stone is the closest a man can get to childbirth. One woman told me that
    "If women can pass a baby, you men can pass a stone"...to which I told her "Unlike the female cervix, the male penis can not dialate".

    I've spoken with women who've h ad both & all say the stones are a worse
    pain.

    I worked it out: Both involve something big going through a small(er) tube,
    but the birth canal is designed to accommodate the baby; the ureter is not designed to accommodate anything more than a trickle of urine from the kidney to the bladder.

    After giving birth, you have a live bavby to take away memory of the pain
    (else every weomsan would have ONE & then remove parts of her system to
    prevent it ever recurring!)

    We give 'birth' to a jaggewd rock(dead, not even pretty, just a pointy ships' wheel)

    So our experience is like a woman giving birth to a porcupine, but not a live one, as that'd be still a cute baby animal. It's like if she gave birth to a dead porcupine, breach! (spines first all t he way from uterus to exit)

    I find this explains i well enough for most. Science has measured pain & ranked them, & kdney stones consistently outrank fire, broken bones,
    toothaches & migraines.

    I get 20 opr more every year!

    One suimmer, when I was drinking an EmergenC a day to prevent colds, I was shooting out 10+ pea-sized stones every WEEK!"

    I never touch that crap anymore, not even AirBorne

    > I paid several bills today, and marked the checkbook, so all the bills for
    April are basically "paid".

    A nice feeling, eh? I can't read my own writing, so I gave up on chequebooks years ago & made a Notepad file on my desktop: "PAID.TXT"(yes, I have extensions=ON) & put my payment info in there (done with online baking) with each's verifiction code; I include a memo n each, so I can ^F to find any payment to check if required/requested. & it's amount, date, & verification code.

    Got a list at bottom for recurring bills (paying off some beds & other furniture) & which pay they come out of.

    I normally do that, telling folks not to worry about it...especially
    for those who I know. I've heard reports of these panhandlers accosting drivers at intersections.

    A fgew bad apples wherever you are. I'd assume the por guy is so hungry he can't rerly n passively panhandling, with the apathy of most people who can walk by, ignoring him as if he were pigeon poop.

    It's sad. One YouTuber did an experiment: he had been panhandling at one location for a while (no other income) & one day, after a lotto win, he
    starts handing out $10 bills because, he saidm, he was so happy & blessed.

    Most laughed, took the $10 & snuck it in behind him when he wasn't looking.

    One guy, though, in a BMW(of course!), starts cursing & kicking the man!

    Some people expect the poor & disabled should be misderable & need. Anuthing other than that personally offends them. These are the inventers & spreaders of negative tales.

    One Halloween, when I lived in a slum building(the only one in miles), a kid actually climbed the dark dismal rickerty stairs to knock on my door & say "trick or treat"; I responded, reflexively, "Sorry, got nothing for you; do
    you have anytrhing for me?" & darmned if that kid didnt reach into his sack & pull out a mini bag of sunflower seeds! I thanked him, then put it near the door for the next kid(if any--there was just the one more)

    > I've heard of families literally arguing over who is paying for lunch.
    My ex-fiancee' wanted me to always take her to the most expensive food place, always pick up the tab, forsake all my hobbies, and spend every waking moment with her. She was to do all the taking, and I was to do
    all the giving...that type of a relationship does NOT work. My late wife
    at least asked me who was paying for the meal. I normally would, but if
    I needed us to "go dutch", or for her to pay for it, she never complained.

    The usual rule is the inviter is offering o treat, unless stated/understood otherwise. I've learned to just be open/honest. With not too much shaner,
    I'l say, "Sorry, man, I'm broke at the moment." most tell me to shut up &
    come on. . .

    I had one friend (now RIP) who took me out every week or two for a decent lunch, his treat - he had funds & chose to spend his savings on cruises & taking fiends out to eat." Can't say I minded that arrangement.

    I went out to 2 area restaurants just before Christmas, and gave a $100 tip to an employee at each place, who always took good care of me. I still like to tip employees who do me right, but I can't afford to eat out every single day.

    I hear ya! I try to recall the good ones & be generous when I can. . .

    [faker beggars]
    I've seen it in action as well...that just turned me off.

    You saw individuals doing wrong -- this is not to paint all with one wide
    brush - you're not a bigot, mate!

    I hate when that happens! You don't have Norton/etc. to undelete?

    I use the IObit software suite, and one of those has an undelete deal,
    but normally that works with Windows files, and not at a DOS prompt.

    I had Norton for Windows & I ensured C:NU\ was in my CMD prompt's %PATH% & typing UNDELETE worked to run it as if I'd clicked on it. . .

    ... if at first u don't succeed, drop to DOS & do it right.

    I live by this!

    > I had the students (and the teacher) roaring in laughter. Also, when
    I did the "Phone Call From God" by Jerry Jordan, it was hard trying to
    stay in character, as one gets laughing as well...and everyone else is laughing as well.

    I know - their laughter is infectious! But they can usually tell you were prepared & you're laughing, not unprofessionally, but with them. . .

    Yup. . I used to ask people, "Does a Pope **** in the woods?" or "Is the bear Polish?"; Yup, I'm known as the weird guy. & I wear that distinction with pride.

    I saw a tagline that noted "Seen On A Baby Stroller: Poo-Poo Happens".


    Fair version or my goto: "feces occurs."

    There is also a commercial on the Swiffer Pet Hair Cleaner. Some pets
    shed like the dickens (talk about their own fur balls)...while others
    don't. But, the kicker for the commercial was "Shed Happens". <BG>

    Haven't seen it, but I like it already; I love when advertisers have the
    balls to do an edgy-esque pun!

    Eve was deceived, so I have to cut her some slack. But, Adam apparently gave in without a fight...but did so as he didn't want to lose Eve.

    & how did that make God(first love) feel? God first, period.

    God wants me to love my wife & kids more than my life, but not more than Him.

    Loving God includes loving everyone else.

    How do we show love gift guifts to He Who literally has EVERYTHING??

    By giving to those with nothing, by helping others who need it.

    By visiting the sick, and when inspired, lay hands on & heal.

    She made a mistake in judgement; Adam knowingly went against God's expressly stated Will. Forgiveness was available, but I consider the greatest sin to have been Adam's. So I don't have a built-in
    misogyny
    (can't, I *LOVE* women!)

    I grew up with a brother. It never occurred to me that it took women forever and day to get ready. My late wife had one cardinal rule:

    I knew, from pop culture, & I was inclined to indulge, by planning for it, ahead of tiume. First indication, a partner(or friend) had that problem, &
    I'd start giving times 30-60 minutes earlier than required to be some place.

    They'd catch on & laugh, & I'd have to give even earlier times, as they'd invariably adjust for the hour I was giving.

    By the 3rd repeat, they'd give up & just be on time!

    [wife's #1 rule]
    LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT DOWN.

    I start off by jocularly saying the rule is to leave it up!

    But most often we gravitate towards closing both seat & lid aftyer every use, so both must lift & both must lower -- fair & looks better, & when kids
    happen or visit, it's child-proofed.

    When I forgot, she'd spit like a mad cat. Nothing more needed to be said...I knew I was guilty. :P

    I, when I was 6, sat without looking, & got a cold wet tush!

    I learned -- it never happened a second time.

    It's not so difficult ot always check. A percentage of times me go to the washroom, they need to sit, buth ow often do you hear us complain about
    falling in because the seat is up? Our superior male intellect (*G*) allows
    us to check before sitting.

    I try for balance. . . (beer in one hand & whiskey in the other)

    Balanced Diet...in the belly, and in the buttocks. <G>

    My doctor told me to watch my weight, so I've put it right out front where I can watch it easier!

    Doc told my wife to watcghher weight, she replied, "Why, does it do tricks?"

    Well, time to put in some ObHumour to keep this thread on topic for everyone else.

    Once I get my point working, I'll be resuming ownership of this echo & that
    was always my rule: chat if you want, but every post must be topical(Funny content); I was more or less laissez-faire in my leadership style, & mine became the more popular of the two humour echos (the other was purely G-rated (grade 4 level language/situations only, & he'd kick you out for even a HINT
    of an infraction!

    This echo was so people could relax & laugh. We all treated it like a GENERAL CHAT forum & made copious use of the Obligatory Joke (aka "ObJoke") to end on topic!

    I made some good, longterm friends in here (still friends 25 years later!)

    Almost married one, even! We're still friends, though.

    ObJokes:

    I really ought to start losing weight...
    But, I've got too much on my plate at the moment.

    We Tried Getting Americans to Start Measuring Weight in Kilograms Instead of Pounds
    But they were very cagey about it.

    You should avoid beef when trying to lose weight
    Too many cowlories.
    [I was amazed at how many kcal beef has!]

    Was going to do a group on weight loss/dieting, but a pun just grew itself in my brain:

    I went into the medical university's professor's washroom to relieve pressure between classes.

    Outside one fellow, who was in there with me asked, "Are you a surgeon?"

    I askked him how did he guess; he said "by the way you washed your hands so thoroughly"

    I replied, "& you must be a psychiatrist?

    "How did you know?"

    "Your 'p' was silent."

    back to the weight loss stuff:

    I started going to the gym in my tuxedo, everything went well except the
    weight lifting...
    Is not my strong suit.

    I asked my Dad “What’s the difference between weight and mass?”
    “Well, son. Weight is your size in relation to the Earth’s gravity.

    Mass is what Catholics go to Sunday morning.”
    -=-
    What do you call an over weight psychic?
    A four chin teller

    I thought that taking the shell off of my racing snail would save weight and make it more streamlined so it would be faster....
    But it just made it more sluggish......

    My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight
    She's truly my aunt

    I’ve been writing a book on weight loss.
    I hope it will appeal to a wide audience.

    How do you get to the weight room at Hogwarts?
    Through the Dumbell door

    & with that, I'll bid you adieu. . .



    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Tue Apr 6 16:58:00 2021
    George,

    Our phase 2 was 70+ &/or those with chronic health conditions; I
    qualify, but am still waiting, as is allowed currently. They'll even
    do a housecall for me!

    That's what Arkansas did for us...but when they lowered the age, I decided
    to go for it.

    For the women who feel obliged todo the stereotype I tell them: men
    have ages; women just have birthdays.

    Not a bad way to look at it.

    We give 'birth' to a jaggewd rock(dead, not even pretty, just a pointy ships' wheel)

    If you have more than one, you name them "Sly And The Family Stone". <G>

    I saw a tagline that noted "Seen On A Baby Stroller: Poo-Poo Happens".

    Fair version or my goto: "feces occurs."

    I said that at work years ago, and this woman I was working with (she
    had just lost her first husband to colon cancer, but we were great friends), looked at me like "WTH??". I translated it, and she busted out laughing;
    saying "I'm going to tell my sister!!". The next morning, I asked her if
    she told her sister, she busted out laughing, and said "Yep"...then I asked "Same Reaction??", and she said "Yep".

    She resigned to go work elsewhere long before I left. I have no idea
    what happened to her.

    Haven't seen it, but I like it already; I love when advertisers have
    the balls to do an edgy-esque pun!

    I don't know if there's a TV commercial, but it runs on the IHeartRadio stations.

    But most often we gravitate towards closing both seat & lid aftyer
    every use, so both must lift & both must lower -- fair & looks better,
    & when kids happen or visit, it's child-proofed.

    It's no fun sitting in the water. :P

    I, when I was 6, sat without looking, & got a cold wet tush!

    See what I mean??

    Balanced Diet...in the belly, and in the buttocks. <G>

    My doctor told me to watch my weight, so I've put it right out front
    where I can watch it easier!

    I watch what I eat...from the plate to the mouth.

    Doc told my wife to watcghher weight, she replied, "Why, does it do tricks?"

    Really.

    Well, time to put in some ObHumour to keep this thread on topic for everyone else.

    echos (the other was purely G-rated (grade 4 level language/situations only, & he'd kick you out for even a HINT of an infraction!

    The kids are hearing far more than G-rated in elementary school now.

    I really ought to start losing weight...
    But, I've got too much on my plate at the moment.

    There you go!! <G>

    We Tried Getting Americans to Start Measuring Weight in Kilograms
    Instead of Pounds
    But they were very cagey about it.

    Why would you want to kill a gram??

    You should avoid beef when trying to lose weight
    Too many cowlories.
    [I was amazed at how many kcal beef has!]

    Diet water has half the calories of regular water. <G>

    "Your 'p' was silent."

    Wow.

    back to the weight loss stuff:

    I started going to the gym in my tuxedo, everything went well except
    the weight lifting...
    Is not my strong suit.

    At times, I have to poke holes in my belt to keep my pants from falling
    off. The suspenders kept snapping off.

    What do you call an over weight psychic?
    A four chin teller

    One for each point of the compass.

    I thought that taking the shell off of my racing snail would save
    weight and make it more streamlined so it would be faster....
    But it just made it more sluggish......

    Only if you salted the contestant.

    My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight
    She's truly my aunt

    That is a true pun.

    I’ve been writing a book on weight loss.
    I hope it will appeal to a wide audience.

    They'll really be hip to it.

    How do you get to the weight room at Hogwarts?
    Through the Dumbell door

    The blonde had skid marks on her shirt, from getting run over
    at the intersections. She crawled across, because the sign said
    DON'T WALK.

    Daryl

    ... A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.13-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Mon Apr 12 12:32:16 2021
    For the women who feel obliged todo the stereotype I tell them: men have ages; women just have birthdays.

    Not a bad way to look at it.

    Keeps them happy & delusional, just the way we like 'em! :D

    We give 'birth' to a jaggewd rock(dead, not even pretty, just a
    pointy
    ships' wheel)

    If you have more than one, you name them "Sly And The Family Stone". <G>

    More like Jaggy & the family of rolling stones. . .

    I saw a tagline that noted "Seen On A Baby Stroller: Poo-Poo
    Happens".

    Fair version or my goto: "feces occurs."

    I said that at work years ago, and this woman I was working with (she
    had just lost her first husband to colon cancer, but we were great
    friends),
    looked at me like "WTH??". I translated it, and she busted out laughing; saying "I'm going to tell my sister!!". The next morning, I asked her if
    she told her sister, she busted out laughing, and said "Yep"...then I
    asked
    "Same Reaction??", and she said "Yep".

    I said, to a buddy, when he was sad for dasys over his grandsma's death:
    "Hey, buddy, life goes on; of course, not for your grandmother, but for the rest of us. . ."; he glared, then smirked, then went back to crying, so I let him be. . .

    But most often we gravitate towards closing both seat & lid aftyer every use, so both must lift & both must lower -- fair & looks
    better,
    & when kids happen or visit, it's child-proofed.

    It's no fun sitting in the water. :P

    I, when I was 6, sat without looking, & got a cold wet tush!

    See what I mean??

    This fulfills my point: LOOK before sitting & nobody gets a wet tushy!

    My doctor told me to watch my weight, so I've put it right out front where I can watch it easier!

    I watch what I eat...from the plate to the mouth.

    It's tnot the minutes you spend at the table eating, it's the seconds that
    put on the weight.

    The best exercise is pushups; push up from the table before you're full.

    echos (the other was purely G-rated (grade 4 level
    language/situations
    only, & he'd kick you out for even a HINT of an infraction!

    The kids are hearing far more than G-rated in elementary school now.


    We were in the '70s, already; I can only imagine what's being said nowadays!

    We Tried Getting Americans to Start Measuring Weight in Kilograms Instead of Pounds
    But they were very cagey about it.

    Why would you want to kill a gram??

    Like Adam Sandler sings: Gotta love your grandma. . .

    Diet water has half the calories of regular water. <G>

    Don't joke; there is "diet water" out there.

    Must be like when one peanuit buttert brtand put "cholesterol free" on their jars & outsold their neighbours on supermarket shelves.

    (most people had no clue that cholesterol = meat, not "any fat"; I will only eat vegetarian peanut butter; I do like meat, but only in meat courses)

    At times, I have to poke holes in my belt to keep my pants from falling off. The suspenders kept snapping off.

    Same; I lost the good pair I got years ago with 1" wide clawed clamps that
    did not let go, EVER! Now they're like 1/3" wide & won't bite & hold
    anything.

    I got a belt that has no loops -- you just plug the spindle/tongue in
    wherever you need to.

    My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight
    She's truly my aunt

    That is a true pun.

    Yup; I love puns of all sorts(nearly)

    They'll really be hip to it.

    Not may women call themselves "hippies" any more, since realizing it kinda means "fat"

    The blonde had skid marks on her shirt, from getting run over
    at the intersections. She crawled across, because the sign said
    DON'T WALK.

    A politician was found dead on the road, beside him was a businessman. How
    did the cops tell which was which?

    A: skid marks in front of the non-pol.

    Also, a witness heard the lawyer get hit &described it like this, "rawrrr, thup-thup, screech, thup-thup, screech, thup-thup. . ."

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Wed Jun 30 00:04:09 2021
    They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-three students filing into the already crowded auditorium.

    With rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost
    as grown up as they felt.

    Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and moms freely brushed away tears.

    This class would not pray during the commencements ----- not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.

    The principal and several students were careful to stay within the
    guidelines allowed by the ruling.

    They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned
    divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.

    The speeches were nice, but they were routine... ....until the final speech received a standing ovation.

    A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone.

    He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened.

    All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED!!!!

    The student on stage simply looked at the audience and said,
    "GOD BLESS YOU, each and every one of you!"

    And he walked off stage...

    The audience exploded into applause.

    The graduating class had found a unique way to invoke God's blessing
    on their future, with or without the court's approval!

    Isn't this a wonderful story? Pass it on to all your friends...and GOD
    BLESS YOU!!!!

    In God We Trust, United We Stand.
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