-
If Computers Made Toasters
From
Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to
All on Mon Jul 13 00:07:55 2020
If IBM made toasters...
They would build a very versatile toaster, with the ability to roast
chickens, squeeze oranges, and change diapers as well as make toast.
Then they'd sell it for the bargain price of $5000, run an incompetent
ad campaign, and watch in bewilderment as lesser toaster manufacturers stampeded all over them.
If Apple made toasters...
The toaster would work fine, except that you'd have to buy the bread
from Apple too. Anyone making a toaster that "looked and felt" like
Apple's toaster would yield The Mother Of All Lawsuits ... and, unless
they're Microsoft, would wind up as toast.
If Hewlett-Packard made toasters...
They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which requires you to put
the bread in backward, take out the toast sideways, and THEN push the
"toast" button.
If Intel made toasters...
Every year, a faster toaster would be released; Intel would claim that
it's the fastest toaster ever built. When you take it home, it would
toast no faster than last year's model. Later you'd be told that you
need to wait for "new, advanced, 32-bit bread" to take advantage of the
extra speed.
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
-
From
Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to
All on Mon Oct 19 00:07:11 2020
If IBM made toasters...
They would build a very versatile toaster, with the ability to roast
chickens, squeeze oranges, and change diapers as well as make toast.
Then they'd sell it for the bargain price of $5000, run an incompetent
ad campaign, and watch in bewilderment as lesser toaster manufacturers stampeded all over them.
If Apple made toasters...
The toaster would work fine, except that you'd have to buy the bread
from Apple too. Anyone making a toaster that "looked and felt" like
Apple's toaster would yield The Mother Of All Lawsuits ... and, unless
they're Microsoft, would wind up as toast.
If Hewlett-Packard made toasters...
They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which requires you to put
the bread in backward, take out the toast sideways, and THEN push the
"toast" button.
If Intel made toasters...
Every year, a faster toaster would be released; Intel would claim that
it's the fastest toaster ever built. When you take it home, it would
toast no faster than last year's model. Later you'd be told that you
need to wait for "new, advanced, 32-bit bread" to take advantage of the
extra speed.
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
-
From
Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to
All on Fri Mar 19 00:05:20 2021
If IBM made toasters...
They would build a very versatile toaster, with the ability to roast
chickens, squeeze oranges, and change diapers as well as make toast.
Then they'd sell it for the bargain price of $5000, run an incompetent
ad campaign, and watch in bewilderment as lesser toaster manufacturers stampeded all over them.
If Apple made toasters...
The toaster would work fine, except that you'd have to buy the bread
from Apple too. Anyone making a toaster that "looked and felt" like
Apple's toaster would yield The Mother Of All Lawsuits ... and, unless
they're Microsoft, would wind up as toast.
If Hewlett-Packard made toasters...
They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which requires you to put
the bread in backward, take out the toast sideways, and THEN push the
"toast" button.
If Intel made toasters...
Every year, a faster toaster would be released; Intel would claim that
it's the fastest toaster ever built. When you take it home, it would
toast no faster than last year's model. Later you'd be told that you
need to wait for "new, advanced, 32-bit bread" to take advantage of the
extra speed.
--- SBBSecho 3.13-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
-
From
Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to
All on Sat Jun 19 00:04:10 2021
If IBM made toasters...
They would build a very versatile toaster, with the ability to roast
chickens, squeeze oranges, and change diapers as well as make toast.
Then they'd sell it for the bargain price of $5000, run an incompetent
ad campaign, and watch in bewilderment as lesser toaster manufacturers stampeded all over them.
If Apple made toasters...
The toaster would work fine, except that you'd have to buy the bread
from Apple too. Anyone making a toaster that "looked and felt" like
Apple's toaster would yield The Mother Of All Lawsuits ... and, unless
they're Microsoft, would wind up as toast.
If Hewlett-Packard made toasters...
They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which requires you to put
the bread in backward, take out the toast sideways, and THEN push the
"toast" button.
If Intel made toasters...
Every year, a faster toaster would be released; Intel would claim that
it's the fastest toaster ever built. When you take it home, it would
toast no faster than last year's model. Later you'd be told that you
need to wait for "new, advanced, 32-bit bread" to take advantage of the
extra speed.
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)