• The Doctor is ##UNTRANSLATABLE##

    From George Pope@1:153/757 to All on Mon Apr 18 10:31:42 2022
    Was listening to a mnix of album cuts of '70s music & '50 & '69s Comedy, & Henny Youngman came on (such a delight, the "King of One-Liners" is!)

    He covered a bunch in a theme (see below; you'll figure it out) & that made me think of still others I've heard over the years. . .

    Add in any you think of that aren't in this bunch, please?

    & let me know how you're feeling, as you scroll down, & at what point you cracked out LOLing.

    I've heard all these before, so I'm too blasé to do more than expel a little extra air outen the side of my mouth & out my nares.

    I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - H.Youngman
    -=-
    "Doctor, Doctor, there's an invisible man who wants an appointment; what should I tell him?"

    Tell him I can't see him today.
    -=-
    "Doctor, Doctor; it hurts when I go like this"
    Stop doing that.
    -=-
    A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months. --H.Youngman
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a bell?"

    Go home and take these and if you're not better soon, give me a ring.
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pack of cards."
    I'll deal with you in a minute!
    -=-
    "Doctor doctor! I think I'm at death's door!"
    Don't worry, we'll soon pull you through
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of wigwams!"
    Ah yes, the issue is you've become too tense.
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! I get heartburn whenever I eat birthday cake."
    Next time take the candles off!
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! I've got broccoli stuck in my ear!"
    Looks like you're not eating properly.
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! Help me - I'm getting shorter and shorter!"
    You'll just have to be a little patient!
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! Every time I drink hot chocolate I get a stabbing pain in my eye."
    Try taking the spoon out first.
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains."
    Oh, pull yourself together!
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! I've lost my memory."
    When did this happen?
    "When did what happen?"
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! People keep ignoring me."
    Next please! [booo, yes, i agree]
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing ringing in my ears."
    Whatever you do, don't answer it! --H.Youngman
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! I keep seeing insects spinning around me!"
    Oh yes, there's a bug going around.
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a moth."
    You don't need a doctor, you need a psychiatrist!
    "I know, but when I was walking past your office I saw your light was on..." -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! You have to help me out..."
    Of course. Which way did you come in?
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! They've taken me off the cricket team, they all call me butterfingers."
    Don't worry, what you have isn't catching.
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! I've broken my arm in two places."
    Don't go to those places then. --H.Youngman
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! I've only got 59 seconds to live!"
    Just hang on a minute, will you?
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! I have a strawberry stuck in my ear."
    Don't worry, I've got cream for that!
    -=-

    & another guy. . . what can I say? He's got a busy practice, Dr. Biddyboombah does.

    "Doctor, doctor! Will this ointment get rid of these spots?"
    Now, now, let's not make any rash decisions here.
    -=-
    "Doctor doctor, what happened to that man who fell into the circular saw and had the whole left side of his body cut away?"
    He's all right now.
    -=-
    "Doctor doctor, my spouse is deathly ill, is there any hope?
    it depends what you are hoping for
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor IĈm addicted to brake fluid"
    Nonsense man, you can stop any time
    -=-
    "Doctor doctor, I couldn't drink my medicine after my bath like you told me."
    why not?
    "Well after I've drunk my bath I haven't got room for the medicine"
    -=-
    "Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains."
    Pull yourselves together man.
    -=-
    "Doctor doctor, I've got acute appendicitis."
    You've got a pretty little dimple too
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake."
    Sleep in another room then!
    -=-
    "Doctor, doctor, can I have second opinion?"
    Of course, come back tomorrow!
    -=-

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)