• FidoGazette Vol 12 no 23 Page: 2

    From Janis Kracht@1:261/38 to All on Wed Jun 6 21:02:26 2018
    ================================================================
    H U M O R
    ================================================================




    The last laugh...

    A writer was on vacation when his neighbor phoned him. Without
    preamble the neighbor announced the writer's cat, who was in
    his care while its owner was away, had just died.

    The writer's response was not what the neighbor expected.

    "Look, my friend, we writers have learned that you can't just
    drop information on someone without setting it up first. The
    setup, in instances such as this, is to soften the blow whilst
    creating tension and expectancy. You should have started with
    something like 'your cat has climbed up a tree'. Then, the next
    day you could call again and say 'the cat is still up in the
    tree. It won't come down.' After waiting another day, say 'the
    cat was still up there so I called the fire department.' Wait a
    couple of hours, then call and say 'the fireman placed a ladder
    against the tree and started up. The cat panicked and fell to
    its death.' That way I would have gradually prepared myself for
    the news. That's how a writer would do it."

    Two day's later, the writer's phone rang in the middle of the
    night. It was the neighbor again.

    "Your mother has climbed up a tree"


    FIDOGAZETTE Vol 12 No 23 Page 2 June 06, 2018


    -----------------------------------------------------------------

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-3
    * Origin: Prism bbs (1:261/38)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to JANIS KRACHT on Thu Jun 7 13:40:00 2018
    Janis,

    Two day's later, the writer's phone rang in the middle of the
    night. It was the neighbor again.

    "Your mother has climbed up a tree"

    Sounds like she was a novice at tree climbing...she could've taken
    lessons from the cat!! :P

    Daryl
    ===
    þ OLX 1.53 þ Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
    --- SBBSecho 3.04-Win32
    * Origin: FIDONet: The Thunderbolt BBS - wx1der.dyndns.org (1:19/33)
  • From Janis Kracht@1:261/38 to Daryl Stout on Sun Jun 10 01:39:56 2018
    Hi Daryl,
    Two day's later, the writer's phone rang in the middle of the
    night. It was the neighbor again.

    "Your mother has climbed up a tree"

    Sounds like she was a novice at tree climbing...she could've taken
    lessons from the cat!! :P

    Haha :) Ron actually found that joke this week... I had him send it over... :)

    Take care,
    Janis

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-3
    * Origin: Prism bbs (1:261/38)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to JANIS KRACHT on Mon Jun 11 09:39:00 2018
    Hi Daryl,

    Hi, Janis...

    Sounds like she was a novice at tree climbing...she could've taken
    lessons from the cat!! :P

    Haha :) Ron actually found that joke this week... I had him send it over...

    The cat probably would've scratched up the firefighters!! :P

    Daryl

    ===
    þ OLX 1.53 þ Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
    --- SBBSecho 3.05-Win32
    * Origin: FIDONet: The Thunderbolt BBS - wx1der.dyndns.org (1:19/33)
  • From Janis Kracht@1:261/38 to Daryl Stout on Mon Jun 11 11:59:12 2018
    Hi Daryl,

    Sounds like she was a novice at tree climbing...she could've taken
    lessons from the cat!! :P

    Haha :) Ron actually found that joke this week... I had him send it over...

    The cat probably would've scratched up the firefighters!! :P

    Certainly true if it was one of MY cats :) These cats were all from the same feral litter the ASPCA saved from somewhere in the Ithaca area. Still to this day, you cannot pick up any of them or you'll end up -severly- wounded <g>. My
    son helped me get flea medication on one of them once, and he looked like he'd been through a war by the time I was done :( :( Now, I get the flea medication
    in my hands and after doping them up with TONS of catnip and while they're laying there in the stuff, I get it on them <g>

    Take care,
    Janis

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-3
    * Origin: Prism bbs (1:261/38)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to JANIS KRACHT on Mon Jun 11 12:37:00 2018
    Janis,

    The cat probably would've scratched up the firefighters!! :P

    Certainly true if it was one of MY cats :) These cats were all from the sam JK>feral litter the ASPCA saved from somewhere in the Ithaca area. Still to th JK>day, you cannot pick up any of them or you'll end up -severly- wounded <g>. JK>son helped me get flea medication on one of them once, and he looked like he JK>been through a war by the time I was done :( :( Now, I get the flea medicat JK>in my hands and after doping them up with TONS of catnip and while they're JK>laying there in the stuff, I get it on them <g>

    My Mom, growing up, would get her hands and arms all scratched up. Her teachers at school were horrified at this, wondering what was going on.
    She calmly said "I have 2 cats that I play with". <G>

    As for catnip, one cat she had growing up loved it so, that he
    actually killed the catnip plant...a second one loved it, and was
    able to tell if was a Christmas present (both those cats are dead and
    gone now). But, all her others didn't care about it.

    Daryl

    ===
    þ OLX 1.53 þ Winter is a Sysops friend...Thunderstorms are the enemy.
    --- SBBSecho 3.05-Win32
    * Origin: FIDONet: The Thunderbolt BBS - wx1der.dyndns.org (1:19/33)
  • From Janis Kracht@1:261/38 to Daryl Stout on Mon Jun 11 15:00:30 2018
    Hi Daryl,

    been through a war by the time I was done :( :( Now, I get the flea medicat >> in my hands and after doping them up with TONS of catnip and while they're >> laying there in the stuff, I get it on them <g>

    My Mom, growing up, would get her hands and arms all scratched up. Her teachers at school were horrified at this, wondering what was going on.
    She calmly said "I have 2 cats that I play with". <G>

    hehe...

    As for catnip, one cat she had growing up loved it so, that he
    actually killed the catnip plant...

    I had some catnip growing outside when we lived in Windsor NY, and yes, the cats killed them as well :(

    a second one loved it, and was
    able to tell if was a Christmas present (both those cats are dead and
    gone now). But, all her others didn't care about it.

    I've heard that there are cats that are not affected by catnip but I've never had one with that kind of reaction... It always seemed strange to me that there
    could be cats that were not affected, but I know it's true :)

    Take care,
    Janis

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-3
    * Origin: Prism bbs (1:261/38)
  • From Sean Dennis@1:18/200 to Janis Kracht on Mon Jun 11 16:51:27 2018
    Hello Janis,

    11 Jun 18 11:59 at you wrote to Daryl Stout:

    Certainly true if it was one of MY cats :) These cats were all from
    the same feral litter the ASPCA saved from somewhere in the Ithaca
    area. Still to this day, you cannot pick up any of them or you'll end
    up -severly- wounded <g>. My son helped me get flea medication on one
    of them once, and he looked like he'd been through a war by the time I
    was done :( :( Now, I get the flea medication in my hands and after doping them up with TONS of catnip and while they're laying there in
    the stuff, I get it on them <g>

    This involves a few people but wrap each cat up as a purrito. I have to do that with Felix and his claws. My vet will want to pull a Ramones on Felix to trim his claws. Felix just eats the catnip but it doesn't seem to do anything else...

    Later,
    Sean

    ... After all is said and done, a lot more has been said than done.
    --- GoldED+/LNX 1.1.5-b20170303
    * Origin: Outpost BBS * Limestone, TN, USA (1:18/200)
  • From Sean Dennis@1:18/200 to Janis Kracht on Mon Jun 11 16:53:07 2018
    Hello Janis,

    11 Jun 18 15:00 at you wrote to Daryl Stout:

    I've heard that there are cats that are not affected by catnip but
    I've never had one with that kind of reaction... It always seemed
    strange to me that there could be cats that were not affected, but I
    know it's true :)

    About 20% of cats.

    Usually a cat younger than six months of age isn't affected by catnip. Felix had no interest in catnip until he was about a year old.

    Later,
    Sean

    ... New Mail not found. Start whine-pout sequence? (Y/N)
    --- GoldED+/LNX 1.1.5-b20170303
    * Origin: Outpost BBS * Limestone, TN, USA (1:18/200)
  • From Bill McGarrity@1:266/404 to Janis Kracht on Mon Jun 11 17:24:00 2018
    Janis Kracht wrote to Daryl Stout on 06-11-18 11:59 <=-



    Now, I get the flea
    medication in my hands and after doping them up with TONS of catnip and while they're laying there in the stuff, I get it on them <g>

    LOL.... why does Steppenwolf's 'The Pusher' come to mind... ;)


    --

    Bill

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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to JANIS KRACHT on Mon Jun 11 18:55:00 2018
    Hi Daryl,

    Hi, Janis...

    I've heard that there are cats that are not affected by catnip but I've neve JK>had one with that kind of reaction... It always seemed strange to me that th JK>could be cats that were not affected, but I know it's true :)

    What gets me is how some go nuts over rolls of toilet paper.

    Daryl

    ===
    þ OLX 1.53 þ You know it's cold out, when you go out, and it's cold.
    --- SBBSecho 3.05-Win32
    * Origin: FIDONet: The Thunderbolt BBS - wx1der.dyndns.org (1:19/33)
  • From Sean Dennis@1:18/200 to Daryl Stout on Mon Jun 11 21:21:08 2018
    Hello Daryl,

    11 Jun 18 18:55 at you wrote to JANIS KRACHT:

    What gets me is how some go nuts over rolls of toilet paper.

    A feline treadmill.

    Later,
    Sean

    ... In mixed doubles the mix is very important.
    --- GoldED+/LNX 1.1.5-b20170303
    * Origin: Outpost BBS * Limestone, TN, USA (1:18/200)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to SEAN DENNIS on Tue Jun 12 18:17:00 2018
    Hello Daryl,

    Hi, Sean...

    What gets me is how some go nuts over rolls of toilet paper.

    A feline treadmill.

    Exactly. I saw one video, where the cat was working furiously to
    unroll this roll of toilet paper. Well, it didn't come off a the very
    end, and instead "re-rolled itself". All the while, while kitty is
    working furiously, Momma is scratching and petting the cat on the head.

    When it got completely re-rolled, it was as if the cat wanted to say "WTH??!!" (and maybe a few other things as well). <G>

    Daryl

    ===
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  • From Janis Kracht@1:261/38 to Daryl Stout on Tue Jun 12 21:11:14 2018
    Hi Daryl,

    I've heard that there are cats that are not affected by catnip but I've neve >> had one with that kind of reaction... It always seemed strange to me that th >> could be cats that were not affected, but I know it's true :)

    What gets me is how some go nuts over rolls of toilet paper.

    Yep, they've totally destroyed a number of rolls here over the years :)

    Take care,
    Janis

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-3
    * Origin: Prism bbs (1:261/38)
  • From mark lewis@1:3634/12.73 to Daryl Stout on Tue Jun 12 21:37:46 2018
    On 2018 Jun 12 18:17:00, you wrote to SEAN DENNIS:

    Exactly. I saw one video, where the cat was working furiously to
    unroll this roll of toilet paper. Well, it didn't come off a the very
    end, and instead "re-rolled itself".

    these times are the ONLY times that the toilet paper roll is allowed to be mounted with the loose end in the back going down so you pull it from underneath toward you...

    at all other times, the roll must be mounted with the loose end in the front (close to you) so you can pull it down OR the roll must be perched eye-to-the-sky for easy picking up with your thumb in the tube as an axel for easy dispensing of the necessary number of squares...

    )\/(ark

    Always Mount a Scratch Monkey
    Do you manage your own servers? If you are not running an IDS/IPS yer doin' it wrong...
    ... Why are wrong numbers never busy?
    ---
    * Origin: (1:3634/12.73)
  • From Bill McGarrity@1:266/404 to Janis Kracht on Wed Jun 13 08:59:00 2018
    Janis Kracht wrote to Daryl Stout on 06-12-18 21:11 <=-


    I've heard that there are cats that are not affected by catnip but I've
    eve
    had one with that kind of reaction... It always seemed strange to me that
    h
    could be cats that were not affected, but I know it's true :)

    What gets me is how some go nuts over rolls of toilet paper.

    Yep, they've totally destroyed a number of rolls here over the years :)

    You're putting the roll on backwards. :)


    --

    Bill

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  • From Janis Kracht@1:261/38 to Bill McGarrity on Wed Jun 13 14:41:44 2018
    Hi Bill,

    What gets me is how some go nuts over rolls of toilet paper.

    Yep, they've totally destroyed a number of rolls here over the years :)

    You're putting the roll on backwards. :)

    Lol - I probably do sometimes... but years ago we had this breed of cat, a Maine Coon; toilet paper didn't stand a chance even when not backwards :) :)

    This guy was so tall, long legged, extremely long body (!), with huge MITTS not
    paws haha... anything he wanted to tear to shreds was easily in his reach :) I couldn't believe the number of cat toys he destroyed as well (catnip stuffed).

    He was a great cat, more dog than cat to be honest :) He used to play fetch with q-tips :)

    When we moved to Kentucky, he literally devastated the neighborhood's chipmunk population... we'd often find a piece of chipmunk tail by the front door (his offering I guess <grin>).

    Aw, now I miss him...

    Take care,
    Janis

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-3
    * Origin: Prism bbs (1:261/38)
  • From Bill McGarrity@1:266/404 to Janis Kracht on Wed Jun 13 17:53:00 2018
    Hiya Janis..

    Janis Kracht wrote to Bill McGarrity on 06-13-18 14:41 <=-


    What gets me is how some go nuts over rolls of toilet paper.

    Yep, they've totally destroyed a number of rolls here over the years :)

    You're putting the roll on backwards. :)

    Lol - I probably do sometimes... but years ago we had this breed of
    cat, a Maine Coon; toilet paper didn't stand a chance even when not backwards :) :)

    Well Jesus.... you didn't just have a cat then lol!!


    This guy was so tall, long legged, extremely long body (!), with huge MITTS not paws haha... anything he wanted to tear to shreds was easily
    in his reach :) I couldn't believe the number of cat toys he destroyed
    as well (catnip stuffed).

    I heard they'll give a bobcat a run for the money.... cat toys are mere
    ittins!

    He was a great cat, more dog than cat to be honest :) He used to play fetch with q-tips :)

    Wonder what he'd do with a bone..?

    When we moved to Kentucky, he literally devastated the neighborhood's chipmunk population... we'd often find a piece of chipmunk tail by the front door (his offering I guess <grin>).

    OMG!!! Chip and Dale!!

    Aw, now I miss him...

    I can totally relate. Loss of a pet is forever... :(


    --

    Bill

    Telnet: tequilamockingbirdonline.net
    Web: bbs.tequilamockingbirdonline.net
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  • From Janis Kracht@1:261/38 to Bill McGarrity on Wed Jun 13 19:45:24 2018
    Hi Bill,

    Yep, they've totally destroyed a number of rolls here over the years :)

    You're putting the roll on backwards. :)

    Lol - I probably do sometimes... but years ago we had this breed of
    cat, a Maine Coon; toilet paper didn't stand a chance even when not
    backwards :) :)

    Well Jesus.... you didn't just have a cat then lol!!

    haha.. yeah, he really was a trip... beautiful long-haired charcoal grey coat..
    Huge mane around his neck as well.. he really looked like those cats you see on
    Halloween cards :)

    This guy was so tall, long legged, extremely long body (!), with huge
    MITTS not paws haha... anything he wanted to tear to shreds was easily
    in his reach :) I couldn't believe the number of cat toys he destroyed
    as well (catnip stuffed).

    I heard they'll give a bobcat a run for the money.... cat toys are mere ittins!

    I could believe it... his legs were so long... :) The 'Ultimate' swipe, I always used to think :)

    He was a great cat, more dog than cat to be honest :) He used to play
    fetch with q-tips :)

    Wonder what he'd do with a bone..?

    Probably knaw it to nothing... did I mention his teeth?? Well I'm sure you can
    imagine... :)

    When we moved to Kentucky, he literally devastated the neighborhood's
    chipmunk population... we'd often find a piece of chipmunk tail by the
    front door (his offering I guess <grin>).

    OMG!!! Chip and Dale!!

    LOL :) :)

    Aw, now I miss him...

    I can totally relate. Loss of a pet is forever... :(

    Yes, really true :(

    Take care,
    Janis

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-3
    * Origin: Prism bbs (1:261/38)
  • From Bill McGarrity@1:266/404 to Janis Kracht on Thu Jun 14 12:59:00 2018
    Hiya Janis..

    Janis Kracht wrote to Bill McGarrity on 06-13-18 19:45 <=-

    Yep, they've totally destroyed a number of rolls here over the years :)

    You're putting the roll on backwards. :)

    Lol - I probably do sometimes... but years ago we had this breed of
    cat, a Maine Coon; toilet paper didn't stand a chance even when not
    backwards :) :)

    Well Jesus.... you didn't just have a cat then lol!!

    haha.. yeah, he really was a trip... beautiful long-haired charcoal
    grey coat.. Huge mane around his neck as well.. he really looked like those cats you see on Halloween cards :)

    Years ago when my kids were young there was a feral cat that gave birth to 4 kittens. They would hide under my neighbor's deck. We waited about 6 weeks before looking into getting them separated. First one I grabbed was a beautiful solid grey with white mittins. He looked beautiful but damn... was he nasty!! I can still see the scars on my hands. After that one the other three I used my welding mitts... :)


    This guy was so tall, long legged, extremely long body (!), with huge
    MITTS not paws haha... anything he wanted to tear to shreds was easily
    in his reach :) I couldn't believe the number of cat toys he destroyed
    as well (catnip stuffed).


    I heard they'll give a bobcat a run for the money.... cat toys are mere ittins!

    I could believe it... his legs were so long... :) The 'Ultimate'
    swipe, I always used to think :)

    LOL!!

    He was a great cat, more dog than cat to be honest :) He used to play
    fetch with q-tips :)

    Wonder what he'd do with a bone..?

    Probably knaw it to nothing... did I mention his teeth?? Well I'm sure you can imagine... :)

    Yeah.. my little girl can do that to a bully stick in minutes...

    When we moved to Kentucky, he literally devastated the neighborhood's
    chipmunk population... we'd often find a piece of chipmunk tail by the
    front door (his offering I guess <grin>).

    OMG!!! Chip and Dale!!

    LOL :) :)

    :)

    Aw, now I miss him...

    I can totally relate. Loss of a pet is forever... :(

    Yes, really true :(

    :(

    --

    Bill

    Telnet: tequilamockingbirdonline.net
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