• [CHRISTIA] new poetry, "Before Fitful Sleep"

    From Mark@1:396/4 to Practical Christian Life on Sun Jun 14 12:57:45 2020
    From: lamppoet@CENTURYTEL.NET (Mark)

    Some will understand.

    "Before Fitful Sleep"

    ("Even the one who has strength of heart like the heart of a lion will be afraid." 2 Samuel 17:10a)

    It was the last thing I thought before fitful sleep,
    the last wheelbarrow that kept cycling from load to load,
    and my breathing followed the pace, my heart left little space
    for calmer dreams to prevail. I knew I was certain to fail;
    all I thought had been accomplished over ten or fifteen years
    was upended as the gunfire encroached from every direction.

    I liked my pillows flat as tortillas once,
    for years in fact, since I was a kid I slid my hand beneath
    the cold pillowcase and listened to the pulse thumping in my head.
    But now I need them fluffy. I cannot pinpoint the date or the year,
    but I think it started when I discovered thin pillows were
    fragile defenses against the armaments of recycling thoughts.

    Long thoughts with no side streets, no turn-offs to a quieter avenue;
    wrong thoughts with no return or redemption, a sorry state for weary mind; strong thoughts with no silencers, so loud I'm sure my eyelids twitched
    morse code;
    thoughts that did not belong to my quieter wishes. Rarely, sparely a
    plainsong of space between breaths left enough calm
    that I could sleep without feeling the hypocrite.

    I'm older than the fitful nights, and stay up later because
    once slumber greets waking I'm met with shaking pain that
    has nailed my head dead-ended so I stumble before getting out
    of bed.

    None know my pain (oh, I must remind myself, and any reader,
    I am no whiner, no self-repeater), my face sometimes shows the pain,
    but mostly it has grown back to its original dimensions; a thin smile and
    eyes slightly bowed. I admit my feet have slipped from the pedal,
    and my life and my work coast hazily, and my life and my work
    appear to lazily pull to a stop along the shoulder. And my life
    and my work
    have suffered from so many miles without attention
    and a cracked head that has lost all compression.

    And so you know, a bit narrow, or more obtuse,
    the harrowing tale of a lion-heart that hid well
    the dreams of night and the schemes of day;
    and who hates excuses, and sings the blues by heart.

    But my final stanza, (for the safety of my readers)
    still glorifies the Lion who roars in Love-and-Truth,
    and will, in fortune's reversal, soon remove the thorn
    that has beset my soul, while the small circle of friends
    is found unbroken.


    mark p.


    Mark's Blog

    (to be removed from the list, simply reply with the request: "Please
    remove". God's best!)

    For subscription information, visit <http://www.rowan.edu/~kilroy/CHRISTIA>
    To leave the list, send the command UNSUB CHRISTIA to LISTSERV@LISTS.ASU.EDU --- NewsGate v1.0 gamma 2
    * Origin: News Gate @ Net396 -Huntsville, AL - USA (1:396/4)